Ladies' Choice (The He-Man Women Haters Club Book 4) by Chris Lynch

Author:Chris Lynch [Lynch, Chris]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
ISBN: 9781480404823
Publisher: Open Road Media Teen & Tween
Published: 2013-03-26T04:00:00+00:00

9 Apocalypso

WE WENT THROUGH WITH it, though none of us expected Vanessa to be there. But that didn’t stop Jerome from singing his “oh my god” song softly all the way.

And it didn’t stop the clever Wolfgang from constantly assuring us that she would be there.

“Really, guys,” Wolf said one last time as we circled around to the back of my house. “She’s here, so why don’t you all just go back—”

“I can’t wait,” Steven said, slapping his hands together.

The bulkhead to the cellar flew open and up out of the grave came my great big ghoulish sister Rock.

“They wouldn’t believe me, honey,” Wolfgang explained as she lifted him out of his chair and cradled him in her arms. “I feel so hurt. Can somebody please meet me at the bottom of the stairs with my wheels? You there.” He gestured toward Steven. “Be a good boy, would you?”

Steven was by now putting on quite a show with the number of colors he could make his face turn.

“You guys are so suspicious all the time,” Rock said, shaking her head. “Don’t you ever take a break from being paranoid?”

“No,” I snapped.

When we got to the foot of the stairs, there she was, Vanessa, sitting on the couch, hands folded, staring at us.

I was surprised—and relieved. I was hoping we would be able to rehabilitate He-Man Wolf, and this was a good sign.

Steven was not quite so impressed. “So he got lucky. Vanessa happened to be here, coincidentally. Let’s just get this over with.”

“All right,” Wolf said, rubbing his hands together as if he was sitting down to a nice meal. “I believe I have come up with an idea that will help not only Jerome but every He-Man with his girl problem. I am certain, in fact, that by the time we leave this room, we will all be better men, and you will all be thanking your ol’ buddy Wolfgang for helping out.”

As if on cue (had Wolfgang even rehearsed his speech?) my sister walked to the steps leading up to the main part of the house. She stopped at the light switch. Slowly, she turned the dimmer down, down.

“Hey,” I called. “I don’t like this. Rock. Rock, you put those lights back up now.” She did nothing. “I mean it.” Nothing. “I mean it now. Don’t make me come up there now …”

She giggled and turned the lights down to where we could barely see each other. “Rooooock,” I moaned, “you’re embarrassing me again in front of my men.” I stomped one big boot and slapped my leg with my riding crop.

A body moved in the darkness, brushed by me like the first pass of the shark in Jaws.

“Uh-oh.” Suddenly it occurred to me that Jerome had not whimpered in some time. I felt around for him, pulled him close enough for me to see his face. His mouth was wide open in a futile attempt to scream.

Steven got panicky. “What’s going on here? Wolf? Wolfgang, what is going on here?”

When Wolf didn’t respond, I knew we had big problems.

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